I am back to my blogging!
I read my old posts again and realized turning into 30 did not make me immediately emotionally smarter. I failed, yet I learned, although I had blindly trusted and unnecessarily exposed myself to a "not-so-great" guy over and over again. Done is done. I just realized he is the second person that has disappointed me as a human being in a 30-years-3-months-11-days life of mine. I am not sure if I coped with the situation better than last time. In this secrete and sacred world of mine, I shout on the top of my lung to admit: nightmare, throwing up, the worst being the fear of the third, the fourth, the fifth.
The good news is today I am calm and I think straight and I am blogging positively. I mostly appreciate people in my life who stand so strongly behind me now. It is their love reminded me of the worth of my humanness, the value of my traits, and the preciousness of my ability to trust human beings in the past, today and future. Stood naked in front of the mirror, I still see the charming, attractive, precious self and the little free spirit inside of me :-)
A geeky note: in this website, how-to-tell-if-a-guy-is-a-jerk, the anthropologistic view of that category of men does make a little sense to me: the animalistic, primitive side of human being.
I shall really look into the opportunity to sign up for the UN mission with Leo :-)
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