"One of the biggest challenges I face is how to keep a discussion focussed on the issues at hand rather than the personalities involved. The best debates (and the most passionate ones..) happen when the individuals involved can argue diametrically opposite points without any risk that the personal equations might get affected. In my last job this is one aspect I enjoyed the most - we will have raging discussions on a particular topic within the engagement team but will go out for a beer after that .. the next morning everyone is normal till we get into our next set of debates. Good ideas and output are very often not a result of a situation where ideas converge but clash head on. Let me elaborate on this - if four people in a group think alike all the time, the group is wasted. On the other hand if there is a clash of opinions, points and counterpoints are made and accepted in the right spirit - the best group outcomes emerge.If the above is true, why is it so difficult to come to such a situation. There are multiple reasons but to me some of the most prominent ones are:1. Inability to separate the "opinion" from the person. We often judge a comment based not on the merit of the comment but based on who is making the comment. In some sense we "personalize" the opinion and miss the wood for the trees.2. Inability to structure the discussion. Random thinking is often passed of as creative thinking and inputs. Opinions and viewpoints need to differ within a given framework - if they do not, conflicts emerge and the "discussion" often breaks down.To achieve the balance is very difficult - something I keep struggling with. However there are individuals on campus who are good at this and some of the best discussions I have had are with such inviduals. VB, YE and U are some people who I can think of ... I will keep trying ... insulate the opinion or the argument from the person ..shoot the message if you have to .. don't shoot the messenger !!! this comes from practice and reflection... will make sure that i find time for the later as i practice it quite often anyway...Apologies if some of this sounds a little convulated... i write as i think .. there are not too many filters in between."